*Book Review* Hot Pterodactyl Boyfriend- Alan Cumyn

img_4959 Prepare to be blown away—or rather, carried away on huge muscular wings—by this blissfully outlandish, bracingly-smart, tour de force about a teen who has to come to terms with relinquishing control for the first time as she falls for the hot new…pterodactyl…at school. After all, everybody wants him!

Sheils is very pleased with her perfectly controlled life (controlling others while she’s at it). She’s smart, powerful, the Student Body Chair, and she even has a loving boyfriend. What more could a girl ask for?

But everything changes when the first-ever interspecies transfer student, a pterodactyl named Pyke, enrolls at her school. There’s something about him—something primal—that causes the students to lose control whenever he’s around. Even Sheils, the seemingly perfect self-confident girl that she is, can’t keep her mind off of him, despite her doting boyfriend and despite the fact that Pyke immediately starts dating Jocelyn, the school’s fastest runner who Sheils has always discounted as a nobody.

Pyke, hugely popular in a school whose motto is to embrace differences, is asked to join a band, and when his band plays at the Autumn Whirl dance, his preternatural shrieking music sends everyone into a literal frenzy. No one can remember what happened the next day, but Shiels learns that she danced far too long with Pyke, her nose has turned purple, and she may have done something with her boyfriend that she shouldn’t have. Who’s in control now?

Hilarious and relatable (despite the dinosaur), Hot Pterodactyl Boyfriend is about a teen who must come to terms with not being in control of all things at all times, break free of her mundane life, discover who her true self is, and, oh, finding out that going primal isn’t always a bad thing

Review:

“And God said: Thou shalt use a condom because if not, you’ll become rotund with child and become a teenage mother, bottom wiper, and human milk dispenser.”

What in the actual fuck is this? It was so dreadfully awful that I got to forty percent and had to give up. There are so many thoughts zooming around in my head that it actually might explode from this.

To start off with, this started off confusing and it followed its way up until I gave up. It flew from one thing to another so quickly that it gave me whiplash. (Thanks a lot, Pterodactyl….. Asshole!) What I really want to know is that why everyone wanted to bang this prehistoric beast?

This has to be the worst book that I have ever read. I would have had a better time staring at the sun. If you’re tempted by the title, I suggest you run as far away as you can from this. Don’t let his thank you to Libba Bray talk you into anything.

If you feel tempted by this book, I have started a helpline to get you away from this horrible atrocity. No one should have to deal with shitty books.

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*Blog Tour + Giveaway* The Lantern’s Ember – Colleen Houck

LANTERN'S EMBERTitle: THE LANTERN’S EMBER

Author: Colleen Houck

Pub. Date: September 11, 2018

Publisher: Delacorte Press

Formats: Hardcover, eBook

Pages: 416

Find it: GoodreadsAmazonB&NiBooksTBD

Welcome to a world where nightmarish creatures reign supreme.

Five hundred years ago, Jack made a deal with the devil. It’s difficult for him to remember much about his mortal days. So, he focuses on fulfilling his sentence as a Lantern—one of the watchmen who guard the portals to the Otherworld, a realm crawling with every nightmarish creature imaginable. Jack has spent centuries jumping from town to town, ensuring that nary a mortal—or not-so-mortal—soul slips past him. That is, until he meets beautiful Ember O’Dare.

Seventeen, stubborn, and a natural-born witch, Ember feels a strong pull to the Otherworld. Undeterred by Jack’s warnings, she crosses into the forbidden plane with the help of a mysterious and debonair vampire—and the chase through a dazzling, dangerous world is on. Jack must do everything in his power to get Ember back where she belongs before both the earthly and unearthly worlds descend into chaos.


About Colleen:

colleen2New York Times Bestselling author Colleen Houck is a lifelong reader whose literary interests include action, adventure, paranormal, science fiction, and romance. When she’s not busy writing, she likes to spend time chatting on the phone with one of her six siblings, watching plays, and shopping online. Colleen has lived in Arizona, Idaho, Utah, California, and North Carolina and is now permanently settled in Salem, Oregon with her husband and a huge assortment of plush tigers.

Website | Twitter | Facebook | Pinterest | Goodreads | YouTube | Instagram


Giveaway Details:

3 winners will receive a finished copy of THE LANTERN’S EMBER, US Only.

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My Review

“Do not let fear of the unknown prevent you from discovery, vampire; otherwise, the story of your life will be a dull tale indeed.”

The Lantern’s Ember is the perfect book for Halloween. As Halloween is my favorite holiday, I could not pass up this book, nor could I pass up another book by Colleen Houck. I loved the wonderful take on Halloween and how it came to be. This unique story will grab you from the first line and won’t let go. As the reader, I wanted to know what would happen to Ember when she crossed into the Otherworld. And there was no way I was missing any scenes with Jack (he’s a fascinating and beautiful character). Trust me, if you love the fall time and/or Halloween, you are not going to want to miss this book!

Adventure mixed with paranormal and romance is what you will find in Colleen Houck’s newest book. Ember, the main character, is a powerful witch who wants to venture into the Otherworld, a place filled with magic and lore. The only problem: Jack, the lantern that guards the bridge to the Otherworld, won’t let her pass. The whole aspect of this book was fascinating and so different from Halloween books I have read. I loved that it was more focused on navigating through the Otherworld and building relationships than the horror (which, might I add, is not present in the story, so this is perfect for those who prefer to steer clear from the horror genre).

My favorite part about The Lantern’s Ember was the world building. Most of the book is spent in the Otherworld, where vampires, werewolves, goblins, and more creatures reign supreme. Ember is introduced to so many aspects of the Otherworld, and it’s quite amazing to see it all. The world itself has a steampunk feeling to it, something that is very different and unique. The Otherworld is ruled by the Lord of the Underworld; however, the world is powered by Witchlight, a power the High witch tries to maintain. The world was so distinctive and beautifully crafted; I loved Houck’s writing that brought this world to life. All in all, the world was haunting and perfect for all those Halloween creatures.

Ember is a spunk of a witch, and I loved that. She’s full of sass and refuses to be told she can’t do something (which is what leads her to the Otherworld in the first place). She’s someone I would want as a friend; Ember is a fighter and a protector, especially when it comes to Finney, her best friend (who is exceptionally smart and a trustworthy companion). Whereas Ember has her witch power, Finney has his brain and his instruments. Ember is overall a character that refuses to give up and fights for what she wants, which is something I resonate with and love to read about.

I also enjoyed the relationships Ember has with Jack, Finney, and Dev. Ember has a somewhat playful yet romantic relationship with Jack, once she finally meets him. He’s protective of her but lets Ember be her own person, which makes for a great relationship. And then there’s Dev. Oh, the mysterious and alluring vampire Dev. I loved Dev’s personality and how he acted around Ember (most of the time). On the page, he lures the reader in with his style and his captivating presence. Though I loved Jack, I loved Dev’s character almost as much.

My overall reaction toward The Lantern’s Ember is positive, and it’s definitely a story I won’t forget any time soon. The story line is mesmerizing and so are the characters. The story itself read more like a middle grade novel than a Young Adult; however, I was still able to resonate with the characters. If you are looking for a book with a rich storyline and world building filled with lore, then The Lantern’s Ember is for you!


Tour Schedule:

Week One:

9/3/2018- Captivated Reading– Review

9/4/2018- Jrsbookreviews– Review

9/5/2018- Portrait of a Book– Review

9/6/2018- YA Books Central– Interview

9/7/2018- Zach’s YA Reviews– Review

Week Two:

9/10/2018- Such A Novel Idea– Review

9/11/2018- Lisa Loves Literature– Review

9/12/2018- Wishful Endings– Interview

9/13/2018- The Bookish Libra– Review

9/14/2018- Here’s to Happy Endings– Review

Week Three:

9/17/2018- The Desert Bibliophile– Review

9/18/2018- Smada’s Book Smack– Review

9/19/2018- Book-Keeping– Review

9/20/2018- A Dream Within A Dream– Review

9/21/2018- A Court of Coffee and Books– Review (You’re Here!)

Week Four:

9/24/2018- Do You Dog-ear?– Review

9/25/2018- Savings in Seconds– Review

9/26/2018- Book Briefs– Review

9/27/2018- Pacific Northwest Bookworm– Review

9/28/2018- Two Chicks on Books– Excerpt

Thank you Rockstar Book Tours for hosting this amazing book blog tour! I loved being part of this tour!

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The dreadful tale of prosper Redding by Alexandra bracken

Going into this book I was excited since its Alexandra Dang bracken even though I disliked with a extreme passenger which only read second since was a dualogy but thanks to darkest minds still Alex is a instant read for me. But going in I’m finally getting ready for fall so been reading fall books and this was the start. But this book is about a kid prosper who hasn’t had such a great life what ever he does just frowned upon of extremely disliked in his town that his family started years and years ago. You would think he would be a celebrity but Nooe really disliked.why does his family hate him is because years ago his family made a deal with a fiend or in my mind one of the devils of the underworld and that deal was if they received all this good luck and fortune but come certain year he will come for like your soul or something well the family finds out a way to kill/ trap the fiend. You learn they failed and one bloodline of someone goes away he will be back well he ends up in the mind and body of prosper. And is trying come back alive to take revenge for the family ooooo in ghostly voice. But yea I soooo enjoyed this Alex makes the perfect world right in perfect for fall and it’s middle grade but to show friendship in ways don’t expect I loved. In all else that’s the biggest. Plus the cliff hanger for this book was sooo bad but sooo good I’m dieing for book 2 and this book has became a book I’ll read for many years. 5/5 stars. ~~~JUSTIN